Why Are the Homeless Homeless? - a satire.

Topics: Homelessness, Begging, Poverty Pages: 4 (844 words) Published: December 1, 1996
There are many homeless people out on the streets of the large cities in

this great nation. When unemployment still hasn't gotten near zero and new

jobs are being created every day, people are starting to ask why there are

still homeless people in the alleys and on the sidewalks of this country.

This seems to be an ever haunting problem even though it would be so easy for

homeless people to just get a job. Let's look at the general requirements for

applying for and keeping a job. All you have to do is have nice clothes to

make a decent impression, a home address and some way to be reached in tight

situations, and a way of getting to work in the morning or night--whichever

the case may be. That's it. And I, for one, have reached a solution to this

widespread laziness.

First of all, most homeless people spend their days hunting through trash

cans and dumpsters for a piece of sustenance or at least something of value.

If they're not doing that, they're begging for spare change on street

corners. Eventually, one would think that they should be able to afford a

couple of respectable suits or other outfits to wear while applying and even

working for this job of theirs. All they have to do is poke around a little

longer or beg a little more, and that job would be theirs to enjoy. Keeping

these articles of clothing clean would be difficult, but manageable. If you

can't afford a coin operated laundromat (I'm sure there'd be plenty of left

over change from begging), just find some large, clean puddle of water in the

street to wash things in. As for cleanliness, I'm sure people throw away left

over deodorant or antiperspirant, soap, and other such toiletries to where you

can care of the bathing problem. You don't need to clean your hair, in fact,

doing so would rid yourself of the natural oils that build up over time and

actually hold your hair style in place.

Second, with all the left over money...
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